I was born Jonathan David Darley on December 30th 1970 in Southern Alabama. When I was eight years old my mother and father decided that God was calling them to missionary service and this is where the whirlwind began. In 1979 we moved from Alabama to Tokyo, Japan; no culture shock there. I spent the next nine years living in Japan. At the time I was not able to appreciate the value of my experience, but in retrospect I was very fortunate to have been exposed to the world in this way. I learned to appreciate the world in a way that most people never get to do; there was a world that existed outside of the borders of the United States.
I graduated from high school in 1989 and went to College in a little town called Arkadelphia, Arkansas. Tokyo to Arkadelphia, once again, no culture shock there. I had my life planned out: finish school and get the degree that my parents insisted I get, get married to my high school sweetheart, and finally, do something great that would impact the entire world – pretty simple stuff, really.
The high school sweetheart had other plans and I had not realized how much of my personal self-worth had been wrapped up in that relationship. I joined a fraternity and was suddenly embraced by a group of guys who became my family and my support system. It was also at this time that I figured out that alcohol made everything feel okay; if I drank, I did not feel the pain of relationship loss. If I drank, I was the center of attention. If I drank, I was ten foot tall and bulletproof. If I drank, I was okay being me.
It took me six and a half years to graduate from college -thanks to my new drinking skills- and I got married shortly after that. Still thinking that the world was waiting to see me do something great, I climbed deeper into the pit of alcoholism and drug abuse. The lovable slacker character that I had come to depend on started to lose his luster in the eyes of those around me. I could not focus on my family or my career. The depression and anxiety became so great that I would do anything to numb that pain. I fully understood that there was a God; I was smart enough to understand that I could not be angry at something that did not exist. There was a God and not only was I mad at Him, I wanted nothing He had to offer.
A motorcycle accident and subsequent DWI charge was my family’s first wake up call to what I had become, however, it changed nothing for me. Over the next few years I continued to drink, do drugs, wreck cars, and lose jobs. My then-current wife threatened to leave and take the kids with her, and I said ‘so be it’. I had no desire to be a part of the world and it had no desire to have anything to do with me.
God and I came face to face in 2001 and I got sober for the first time. I decided I wanted to be a Substance Abuse Counselor for all the wrong reasons; I wanted everyone to say look at him! See what he can do?! It took the death of several clients and a massive relapse on prescription drugs for me to realize that I was not God – not only did I not want the job, I was terrible at it.
Today I am a husband, a father, a son, a brother, and I work with people to help them overcome addiction. I have finally discovered that purpose that I had so desperately been searching for in my life. God and I made a deal; he would keep me sober and all I have to do is everything He tells me to do – not that difficult to do when I consider the alternative.
I would love to have the opportunity to share with you my story – maybe there is a message in it for you.
